I don’t want to expect, because I don’t want to get hurt.

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I’ve said this of my ex-husband several times years before, when we were still together. I’ve heard it from many before that, and I hear it from many today.

I have stopped saying this because I realised that I still got hurt even after I stopped expecting anything.

I have stopped believing this because I’ve learned that what I expect, I get. If I expect nothing from people, I get nothing. In fact, not expecting anything of anyone was an expectation by itself. The weird thing was, when I stopped expecting anything, and got nothing, the more I got hurt!

I now believe that expecting the best of people is important in any relationship. There is after all good in everyone. This includes US.

So there are several keys I’ve learned to expecting the best, and getting the best out of people:

  1. Expect the best of ourselves. Believing in our innate strengths and gifts, because of God who fashioned us, is not enough. We need to level up to also expecting the best of ourselves. To raise the bar higher because we know we can. To push ourselves to be more, so that we can inspire others to do the same.
  2. Expect the best of others. We may be disappointed by the actions or failings of the people around us, but as long as we believe the best of them, sooner or later, that best will manifest.
  3. Expect the best of them for them. The problem starts really when we expect for the wrong reasons. But when we expect the best of others for their good, and not for our gain, we detach ourselves, remove ourselves from the equation (always a good starting point, btw!), and make it all about them. We become free to be their cheerleaders, their encouragers.

If you’ve ever found yourself saying, or even vowing to never expect again, throw that script away. Change your expectations for the best, shift your motivation for doing so from “I” to “them”, and watch the people in your life blossom right before your very eyes!

 

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9 Comments

  1. Alfie
    Sep 28, 2012

    The best article I’ve read about Expectation. I totally agree with every word in this blog.

    Best line “Only, expect the best of others for their good, not for our gain.”

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    • Donna Imson
      Oct 1, 2012

      Thank you, Alfie! I’m glad to know that my thoughts on Expectations resonated well with you.

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      • Halima Kabara
        Oct 3, 2012

        Yes, i agree with you, absolutely! What you expect, you get! If the best- you get the best! If nothing- you get nothing! Never under-estimate people, they are Wonder Creatures! Thanks for this Special piece.

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        • Donna Imson
          Oct 4, 2012

          Yes, we are Wonder Creatures! Thanks, Halima!

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  2. Sangeeta
    Oct 2, 2012

    Dear Donna, this is such a wonderful perspective and a lot practical too!!! Gives me new strength to approach any relationship!!! Love , Sangeeta :)

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    • Donna Imson
      Oct 4, 2012

      Thanks, Sangeeta! I’m glad to know we have the same perspective on Expectations.

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  3. JEROME DAYRIT IBE
    Mar 3, 2013

    THE QUEEN ,THE HEART IN NEW PROFESSION,NETWORK MARKETING….
    HI MS DONNA IM GLAD IM A FILIPINO
    BECAUSE THE QUEEN IS FROM THE PHILS.
    I BELIEVE IN YOU THAT’S WHY I EXPECT, ONE DAY MR. IBE WILL
    BE THE NEXT BIG NAME IN THE MAJOR PROFESSION…SEE YOU
    SOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNN………..THANKS MS DONNA

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    • Donna Imson
      Mar 3, 2013

      Thanks for the lovely words, Jerome! Keep doing what you’re doing and you’ll see yourself at the top!

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